I WILL GIVE YOU $50!
By Aardvark | September 29, 2011
I need to find dresses for the girls Christmas pictures (apparently this mission is one of the few things that drives me to blog)…. I have looked and looked and I have found NOTHING that impresses me.
SO… if you can find dresses for me to buy the girls for pictures I WILL GIVE YOU A $50 visa gift card. I am not kidding.
Post a link to what you find in the comments. If I end up buying your pick…you win. Easy Peasy! AND I can’t cheat because I totally post pics of my kids everywhere and you will know!
Topics: Whatever | Comments Off
Penelope – photobomber
By Aardvark | April 3, 2011
I was playing with the incredibooth app on my new ipad and Penelope couldn’t stand it…she had to do it too!
Topics: Whatever | Comments Off
Bossy
By Aardvark | September 28, 2010
This morning Penelope was watching Dora. (Penelope would watch Dora 24/7 if we let her. We don’t.)
Scout looks up at me and she says
“Mommy, Dora sure is bossy.”
“What do you mean”
“Well she is always telling us what to do and saying to say this and say stuff and sometimes I don’t want to say anything!”
Well said.
Topics: Scout | 1 Comment »
Scout vs Wild
By Aardvark | September 27, 2010
Steve watches Man vs Wild. A LOT. It is one of the few things he has set to record on the TIVO. If you aren’t familira with Man vs Wild…it is intense. This guy (Bear..yes his name is Bear) is dropped in the middle of random nowhere places and forced to survive and reach a specific destination. He is always doing crazy shit and EATING EVEN CRAZIER SHIT. He is ALWAYS eating the nasty of nasty. It is disturbing. Anyway, a week or so ago we were watching the show and Bear was eating a raw fish and he was explaining how important it was to eat the eyeballs because “that is where the fluids are” and it would keep you from getting dehydrated. UHHHHGGG!
Yesterday the girls were playing with Mrs. Potato Head and I overhear Scout telling Penelope “Penelope, you need to eat her eyes…that is where the fluid is.”
I am not sure if it was more disturbing to hear Scout say that or to hear P’s response, “oh…ok. I eat her eyes!”
Topics: Body parts, Penelope, Scout, Steve | 1 Comment »
Dresses… I need you opinion.
By Aardvark | September 3, 2010
I am trying to decide on dresses for the girls for our Christmas pictures. Usually I don’t have a problem but this year I am. So I am asking the interwebs for help! Our pictures are going to be shot at an outdoor location (hopefully train station)…
So what do you think?
Option #1
very retro and I love it! One in red and one in green would be very holiday without plastering snowmen or reindeer on them!
Option 2
gorgeous and almost victorian…
Option 3
so sweet and i like that they coordinate a girl’s style with a toddler’s
and Option 4
very classic
Topics: Whatever | 13 Comments »
Yours truly, Aardvark (airport edition)
By Aardvark | August 9, 2010
Dear Atlanta Airport,
I find your efforts to recycle and greenify your facility admirable. The lovely compacting trash cans are delightful and I especially enjoy that they have push bars on the little doors to help keep my hands clean. However, I am rather positive that you are not saving any money on the horrid 1-ply toilet paper. This opinion comes from my own experience of having to use at least twice as much paper as I would at home. I hope that this information is received by you in the spirit of the constructive criticism it was intended.
Yours truly,
Aardvark
Topics: Whatever | Comments Off
OMG! I am actually going to BLOGHER!
By Aardvark | August 3, 2010
IN TWO DAYS! I think I might be sick. I am super nervous and super excited and totally spaztastically freaked out! I actually get to meet these people…these invisible internet friends AND learn stuff too!?!?!?
BUT….
what if no one likes me
or my hair is wrong
or I wear the wrong shoes or lipstick
what if I get all sweaty and get those weird curls at my temples
what if no one talks to me
or sticks a “kick me” sign on my back
What if everyone else is wearing D&G and I am wearing Target.
What if I have to eat by myself because no one invites me to the table….
what if i get a giant zit (can I put a bandaid on it and pretend I had a mole removed?)
Is anyone else obsessing?
Topics: About me | 2 Comments »
WHY do people talk to me?
By Aardvark | July 31, 2010
There are a lot of tan people in the south. I used to be one of them. When I was younger I would bake myself in the sun and go to the tanning bed. Now I use lots and lots of sunscreen because I don’t want to look all old and leathery. As a compromise I get a Mystic (spray) tan every week. The “spa” I go to has Mystic tan and tanning beds. The “spa” where I go to get sprayed down every week is ALSO next door to a Coldstone Ice Cream store. There are always people sitting outside at the tables eating ice cream.
This usually has nothing to do with me.
The other day I was walking out of the “spa” from getting sprayed and an older woman sitting next door eating ice cream says to me
Lady : “You are fryin’ your insides!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Lady: “Those tanning beds will fry your insides.”
Me: “Oh..I don’t use the tanning beds” (I have no idea what made me feel like i should explain myself to her)
Lady: “Well that fake tan is full of chemicals that will kill you too.”
pause
Me: and your ice cream is full of fat that will go straight to your ass…so I guess we all have our vices”
Topics: Shit that gets on my nerves!, WTF | Comments Off
Weird shit happens to me…
By Aardvark | July 31, 2010
A couple of weeks ago I was informed by a 50 year old receptionist (on hiatus from watching Days of Our Lives in her trailer) that I looked unemployed. She came to this conclusion based on the fact that I have red highlights.
“I didn’t figure you had no job with that red hair.” “Most places won’t hire you with those hairs.” I *guess* I should have been insulted or something…but I was just so dumbfounded by the whole conversation.
There is this one particular Target checkout clerk that refuses REFUSES to put my milk in a bag. I usually do my grocery shopping at Publix and take my reusable bags. I am not as great at remembering to take them to Target (I am getting better) but regardless of whether I have my own bags or not….He will not bag the milk. He told me “it has a handle.” I guess I could argue with him and demand a bag because I am the customer and blah blah blah but mostly I am entertained by the fact that this is his mission in life.
There is something about me that makes people want to talk to me. Maybe I look friendly, maybe I look like I want to help, maybe I look like I give a shit…but mostly none of those are true. 
I took my grandmother to Ross. She loves it there. While shopping around TWO different old people asked my opinion on the crap they were thinking about buying. The first one was a lady probably about 100 that was trying to decide on a purse. They were both hideous. As I walked by she asked me which one I liked better. One was old lady red and had about 8,000 pockets on the outside. The second was just as hideous and forest green. I tried to politely point out that neither were really my taste. She kept on. So I looked around and found a rather classic looking black bag and suggested it instead. She took the purse from me and looked at the price tag and quickly informed me that she was not paying $29.99 for a purse and THEN she accused me of spending “probably $50 on that fancy purse” I was carrying. MUWHAHHAAAA….If she only knew.
Does this crap happen to you?
accused
Topics: About me, WTF | 1 Comment »
Shameless promotion!
By Aardvark | June 11, 2010
Bookout Studios is giving away a $100 gift card to Anthropologie & you have to check out their new Artisan Session!
www.bookoutstudios.com
Topics: Whatever | Comments Off