“A” is for Aardvark

As you may remember from my last post. Scout is having some issues sleeping. After she woke up from her 20 minute nap it took me 30 minutes to convince her that she really needed to go back to sleep. She finally caved and passed out. She had only been asleep MAYBE 15 minutes..when someone came knocking (with great enthusiasm) on the door and woke her up! I hear the knock, cue the crying. I go to the door and throw it open…ready to kill whoever is stupid enough to wake my sick baby and piss me off when I am sick. It was a Mormon solicitor. Good for him…he will need some religion. Imagine that you and your child have been sick and grouchy for almost 4 days….imagine what kind of mood you would be in…then remember that it is me and I am not very nice most of the time anyway. The conversation went something like this…

Me: (throws open the door) Can I help you?
Mormon: (obviously thrown by the hostile greeting) Ummmmm..wellllll
Me: You just woke up my sick baby. (cue screaming in the background)
Mormon: Oh… well…. I uhhh I just wanted to ask you one question.
Me: Go ahead.
Mormon: Who do you think is the greatest man that has ever lived?
**the following answer can only be blamed on fever and lack of sleep**
Me: Barry Manilow (slams door)

• Leave a comment... (6)

Scout goes to bed around 8pm…Steve and I go to bed at 10pm. Last night we got in bed late (around 11pm). At 1am Steve was up with a stomach ache. (For those of you that don’t know…this is no big surprise. Steve could eat air and it would probably upset his stomach. His is very sensitive. I, on the other hand, could eat nails and feel fine.) Anyway…I hear Steve up and wandering around so being the loving partner that I am, I ask if he is ok. No…his stomach hurts.
“Do you need anything?”
“No.”
My duty done, I roll over to go back to sleep. Just as I start to dose off…I hear the monster. She starts out with her usual whimper and I start to ignore her. (She usually wakes up for a few minutes around this time and then goes right back to sleep) Steve, being a kinder soul than I, goes in to check on her. The screaming escalates to the “the neighbors think we are skinning our child with a butter knife” level. Steve changes her diaper and attempts to calm her down. No such luck. Again…I am loving. I get up and go in to help. We all head downstairs to the kitchen and (more importantly) to the baby Motrin. We get some drugs down her and some juice and she finally starts to calm down. I send Steve back to bed and stay up with the monster until she goes back to sleep. I put her back in her bed around 2:45am. I crawl back in bed but I can’t go to sleep. My head is so full of snot! The last time I look at the clock it is 3:22am. At 3:50 I am jerked awake by the scream of death from across the hall. I lie very still and hope that she will go back to sleep. No. After about 10 minutes I give up and go in there. She is all twisty with her head in the corner of the crib. I pick her up and take her downstairs to nurse her. She eats and goes right back to sleep. Woo Hoo! Back to bed. As you can guess…this magic didn’t last. Back up at 5:30. Back to bed at 6. Back up at 8. Now she is taking her morning nap..and I am trying to decide what to do. I could shower. I could sleep. I could make a cake (in case I feel like going to cake class tonight). I think I actually feel worse today. I bet if I had gotten a good nights sleep…I would feel better. I had things to do today…I probably won’t do them.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone somewhere hates me. I hear her up there. She is awake already. She has only been asleep for 20 mins! It is going to be a looonnnngggg day.

• Leave a comment... (0)

Today Scout and I had to get out of the house. (snot or not!) We met Steph and Mike at Kid’s Space. Since Scout can’t get down and run a muck yet…we headed to the baby swings. Scout had never been in a swing before…and she LOVED it! Hopefully Santa will see this picture…

• Leave a comment... (6)

• Leave a comment... (2)

It is amazing. I have been blowing my nose and blowing my nose and there is always snot. I have a never ending supply. The good news is … it is clear so no infection! Scout seems to have lots of snot too. Yes…her snot is also clear. I will keep you updated.

• Leave a comment... (3)

this makes me grouchy (-er than normal). I had to leave the house and run a couple of errands today that could not wait. Here is what I learned and some questions that I am hoping you can answer.

1. I hate Regions bank. You should close your account and go somewhere else.

2. Some people are stupid and do not understand the concept of “right of way”

3. Why do people stand right in front of the elevator doors? I have to get off before you can get on, fuckwad!

4. It is not ok (no matter how “hot” you think you are) to wear sweatpants (even if they are from Hollister) pulled up to just below your knees with athletic socks and hiking boots and a tight sweatshirt that stops right below your breasts. This is even less OK if you are overly tanned and 50 and have a belly button ring. WTF?

5. When you don’t feel so great…pretzel bites are the perfect lunch.

6. Some people can only do one thing at a time.

7. These people get on my last nerve.

8. You can dress your child in pink and people will still call her “HE”

9. Does Baby Gap pump crack gas into their store?

10. What can a nursing mother take for a cold?

• Leave a comment... (4)

I bought Scout the cutest outfit at Costco a couple of weeks ago. I paid less than $7 for it. I saw it at Parisians this weekend for about $20. All Hail Costco!

• Leave a comment... (0)

Scout and I have colds. This is her first cold. She is sneezey and coughing and snotty. Me too. My throat is scratchy…I don’t have any way of knowing if hers is too. She is in a very good mood…so she must not feel to bad.

• Leave a comment... (0)

If you need another blog to read….
Check out Zoot.
She is fabulous. I am stalking her.

• Leave a comment... (2)

On the weekends we Scout wakes up for the morning…Steve gets up and puts a dry diaper on her and then brings her to our bed to snuggle and play for a few minutes before we all get up. Sunday morning this proceeded as usual except Scout did not come alone. She brought her brand new top tooth with her! Yep…she finally cut a top tooth. This may be part of the reason she went all “Regan” on us Wednesday. She now has 3 bottom teeth and a little tooth nubbin on top!

• Leave a comment... (0)