“A” is for Aardvark

Dear Redneck Women in The Dollar Tree,
The check out line is not the appropriate place to get into a screaming match about “your man.” No one here cares what your “mama saw.” Please take it back to the trailer park.
Yours truly,
Aardvark

Dear Big Bangs Lady,
I am glad that you are willing to make an effort in your appearance everyday. Some don’t. Is is possible that yo don’t realize that it is 2007 and not 1987? Maybe I can get my friend Susanna to give you a calendar so that this doesn’t happen again. The blue eyeshadow isn’t really working so well either.
All the best,
Aardvark

Dear Blue Haired,
It worries me that you are driving through life giving the false impression that you are turning right. I am familiar with the car you drive and I know that it makes noise when you have your blinker on. Maybe you need to check the batteries in your hearing aides. They sell them in bulk at Costco.
Thinking of you,
Aardvark

Dear License Worker,
I am sorry that you hate your job and have shitty hair. I am sorry my child was crying in line, I wasn’t enjoying it either. In the future I would suggest that you keep you snippy attitude to yourself because you only got a small taste of me and what I am capable of.
Sincerely,
Aardvark

Dear Stephanie,
Do not abandon me in the store leaving me to talk to the stalker you introduced me to. It is not nice. Next time you should fake a stroke and let me rush you out of the store while you go limp on one side. That is what a real friend would do.
Thank you,
Aardvark

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I kept Scout home today for our last day home together. We had a great time. We watched Sesame Street and played for a while this morning. Then we met Steph adn Mike for lunch and shopping. Then we came home for a nap! She just woke up…more later!

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Yesterday when I went to the hospital to visit my dad I met a celebrity. I was walking down the hall headed towards the elevators. There was a lady in front of me carrying an infant and holding the hand of a little girl about 4. (We eventually ended up on the elevator together as well.) She turned around and looked at me a couple of times and then finally she started the following conversation….

LG: What’s your name?
Me: Ronda. What’s your name?
LG: Cinderella
Me: Well Hello Cinderella…I am sorry I didn’t recognize you.
(Cinderella’s mother interrupts with “Tell her your real name.”)
LG: Samantha
Me: Oh…It is very nice to meet you Cinderella (wink)
LG: (huge smile)
Me: Is that your little brother?
LG: No.
(Cinderella’s mother interrupts again with “Yes he is…She still thinks she is an only child.”)
Me: Well Cinderella was an only child.
(elevator doors open for my stop)
Me: Goodbye Cinderella. It was very nice to meet you.
LG: Goodbye!

It should also be said that Cinderella was wearing a pink tutu and rhinestone flip flops!

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July 07 033, originally uploaded by aisforaardvark.

Scout used a book and her rocker to create her own makeshift recliner. Genius!

You can see another picture HERE!

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So big!, originally uploaded by aisforaardvark.

I love this baby!

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MY DAD!
My dad went to the Dr. yesterday because he has been having some tummy trouble. He also mentioned that he had been having some chest pain but he figured it was just his reflux. They did an EKG and discovered that he has had a MAJOR heart attack recently. He went to the Cardiologist today and they are admitting him into the hospital tonight and doing a cardiac catheterization tomorrow afternoon. They will proceed after that based on what they find out. It could be anything from nothing to open heart surgery. So we are just waiting.
Keep him in your thoughts, prayers or whatever you believe in!

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As you may have read, I threw up all night Sat. night. I didn’t eat Sunday. My lunch went right through me yesterday. I finally managed to retain a bowl of cereal last night. This morning I was about to get in the shower when it occurred to me that I may have lost some weight. I hopped right on the scale. Low and behold…NOTHING! WTF!!! I have friends that can blow their noses and lose 5 lbs. Not me. I guess I should just be glad I didn’t gain weight.

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Scout was not happy when Mom and I picked her up from daycare yesterday. Mom decided that Scout needed a prize. Mom ahd been planning to buy Scout a Big Bird (because Scout can say Big Bird)…so we headed to Build A Bear. Scout got to build a Big Bird. It is pretty freaking big. It is almost as big as she is…and she want to carry it around everywhere. I will post some pictures of them together soon.
But aren’t you excited that Scout can say BIG BIRD!!!

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Last night I finally managed to eat something without following it with a quick sprint to the bathroom. I still feel a little puny but much better. Steve is better. He went to work today. He ate dinner last night and everything. Scout is fine too. I guess we have all beat this one down…and now we are just waiting for the next one.

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Today is Teddie’s birthday! I hope it is FABULOUS! Everyone at the Aardvark house is sending you good wishes and happy thoughts! (I know, I know…screw the wishes and thoughts…bring on the presents!)

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