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85 pound elderly Asian serial killer
By Aardvark | January 12, 2010
For a couple of years now I have been asking Steve to get me a taser. He won’t. He is of the firm belief that I would only get myself into trouble with it. I can’t tell you how many missed opportunities I have encountered!
Last night I had to stop by the post office on my way home from Players. It was about 9pm. I was using the automated machine in the lobby and I had about 10 things to send out. Of course I immedialty starting imagining all of the horrible things that could happen to me. I actually jumped about 10 feet off the ground when a tiny elderly asian man came in to check his PO Box. I was sure he was there to hack my body to little pieces and leave them on the PO floor. (We won’t talk about the fact that i could have snapped him like a twig with one hand.) He was sketchy. I was instantly replaying every episode of Law and Order: SVU and Dexter. I started to actually get a little panicky and flustered. I was trying to hurry and make the machine go faster and that, of course, only made me hit the wrong buttons. I finally get all my packages weighed and stamped and start putting them in the hopper thing…where I promptly catch my sleeve and smash my finger. So now I am disabled and panicked and that is really helping matters! I get all my stuff taken care of and start for the door and here he comes around the corner. I actually yelped. YES. I am not kidding. I YELPED at the sight of an 85 pound elderly Asian serial killer. I think I probably scared the crap out of him. He looked rather startled and then bid me a good evening.
So there I am in the PO looking like and feeling like a super spaz with my disabled finger and racing heart…all because STEVE WON’T GET ME A TASER!
Topics: Whatever | 4 Comments »
January 12th, 2010 at 9:49 am
Why can’t you get yourself a taser??
January 12th, 2010 at 10:58 am
Lord, but if you had one you’d probably have tasered that little man, I know I would have
I have been known to text J descriptions of serial killers and say just in case I go missing…here’s who probably did it and where I was.
Amy Mayfield´s last blog ..A Big, Fat Thanks-Seriously. Really & Truly.
January 14th, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Everytime I go in ther it is late at night and I imagine myself being murdered by a disgruntled p.O. holder. I too, have repeatedly asked for a taser, a light saber, and night vision goggles to no avail.
go figure>
January 31st, 2010 at 9:42 am
LMAO, this is hysterical. I fear I would taser myself and make things just a wee bit easier for the 85 pound Asian serial killer.