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  • yours truly

    yours truly – special edition

    Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

    Dearest Sweet (naughty) Penelope Anne, Taking your poopy diaper off and throwing it in the potty while singing “poo poo in the potty” is NOT really the same as actually pooping in the potty. I did enjoy the lovely singing and the wrestling you to the ground to clean your behind was a joy. Just [...]

    Yours truly, Aardvark : Volume 6

    Monday, May 12th, 2008

    Dear Junior League Wannabe, I have to tell you that I applaud your self confidence. I never wear white pants. I would recommend a couple of things for the next time you wear them. I would either go up a size (or 2) or shave. When your white capri pants are so tight that I [...]

    Yours truly, Aardvark : Volume 5

    Wednesday, December 19th, 2007

    Dear Spear’s Family, Please quit reproducing. So far you don’t have a great track record with parenting and sanity. Yours truly, Aardvark Dear Maroon Sedan Driver, Christmas is a wonderful time of year and I am so glad to see you appreciating it’s majesty! It might, however, be wise not to slam on your breaks [...]

    Yours truly, Aardvark : Volume 4

    Tuesday, August 28th, 2007

    Dear Motorcycle Man, You get the Aardvark safety award! Congratulations on taking that extra precaution and strapping that fire extinguisher right to your bike. That is truly taking your safety to the next level. However, I would recommend that if your bike catches fire, you should probably just get away from it before it explodes. [...]

    Yours truly, Aardvark : Volume 3

    Thursday, August 16th, 2007

    Dear Large Man with the greasy pony tail, I applaud you for your dedication to your van. I can’t imagine the time and energy you and your drunk friends must have spent spray painting the entire van black. I have never actually seen a full size van painted entirely with spray paint. Good for you. [...]

    Yours truly, Aardvark : Volume 2

    Tuesday, July 31st, 2007

    Dear Redneck Women in The Dollar Tree, The check out line is not the appropriate place to get into a screaming match about “your man.” No one here cares what your “mama saw.” Please take it back to the trailer park. Yours truly, Aardvark Dear Big Bangs Lady, I am glad that you are willing [...]

    Yours truly, Aardvark

    Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

    Dear Old Man Down the Street, Please put on a shirt when you mow the yard. I do not want to have to witness the sight of your 80 year old man boobs vibrating in time with the lawn mower ever again. All the best, Aardvark Dear 300lb Woman at Wal-Mart, It is not ok [...]