There are a lot of tan people in the south. I used to be one of them. When I was younger I would bake myself in the sun and go to the tanning bed. Now I use lots and lots of sunscreen because I don’t want to look all old and leathery. As a compromise I get a Mystic (spray) tan every week. The “spa” I go to has Mystic tan and tanning beds. The “spa” where I go to get sprayed down every week is ALSO next door to a Coldstone Ice Cream store. There are always people sitting outside at the tables eating ice cream.
This usually has nothing to do with me.
The other day I was walking out of the “spa” from getting sprayed and an older woman sitting next door eating ice cream says to me
Lady : “You are fryin’ your insides!”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Lady: “Those tanning beds will fry your insides.”
Me: “Oh..I don’t use the tanning beds” (I have no idea what made me feel like i should explain myself to her)
Lady: “Well that fake tan is full of chemicals that will kill you too.”
pause
Me: and your ice cream is full of fat that will go straight to your ass…so I guess we all have our vices”