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Yours truly, Aardvark : Volume 6
By Aardvark | May 12, 2008
Dear Junior League Wannabe,
I have to tell you that I applaud your self confidence. I never wear white pants. I would recommend a couple of things for the next time you wear them. I would either go up a size (or 2) or shave. When your white capri pants are so tight that I can count your pubic hairs… it might be time for action. But yea for you for feeling so good about yourself! Confidence is key!
Yours truly,
Aardvark
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Dear Teenage Girls,
I love your fabulous platform shoes and those wedge shoes with the polka dots are to die for and don’t even get me started on those red cork heeled numbers…
I do have a small suggestion…if you can’t walk in them – don’t wear them. It not only makes you look stupid while walking and it really takes away from the shoes. And really aren’t we all about the shoes?
Yours truly,
Aardvark
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Dear Strangers,
Don’t touch my baby. Ever. I am not kidding.
Yours truly,
Aardvark
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Dear People who live up the street from me,
I am impressed by your diligence when it comes to walking your dogs. They are cute. You are great dog owners. Please don’t tell me one more fucking time that your dog’s name is Scout. I know. You told me the first time. It is not necessary to say “This is our Scout” all 809 times you walk by my house each day. Also…your dog is a boy. Scout is a girl’s name. Read the book.
Yours truly,
Aardvark
Topics: yours truly | 2 Comments »
May 13th, 2008 at 8:41 am
It’s not even just teenage girls who do this. Bryan and I love people watching on the cobblestones at Bridge Street. Stilettos to walk an outdoor mall, soccer moms? REALLY?!
May 14th, 2008 at 6:22 am
I aM so excited to see Aardvark and dear aardvark especially, now I am going to have to go back and read it