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Yours truly, Aardvark : Volume 2
By Aardvark | July 31, 2007
Dear Redneck Women in The Dollar Tree,
The check out line is not the appropriate place to get into a screaming match about “your man.” No one here cares what your “mama saw.” Please take it back to the trailer park.
Yours truly,
Aardvark
Dear Big Bangs Lady,
I am glad that you are willing to make an effort in your appearance everyday. Some don’t. Is is possible that yo don’t realize that it is 2007 and not 1987? Maybe I can get my friend Susanna to give you a calendar so that this doesn’t happen again. The blue eyeshadow isn’t really working so well either.
All the best,
Aardvark
Dear Blue Haired,
It worries me that you are driving through life giving the false impression that you are turning right. I am familiar with the car you drive and I know that it makes noise when you have your blinker on. Maybe you need to check the batteries in your hearing aides. They sell them in bulk at Costco.
Thinking of you,
Aardvark
Dear License Worker,
I am sorry that you hate your job and have shitty hair. I am sorry my child was crying in line, I wasn’t enjoying it either. In the future I would suggest that you keep you snippy attitude to yourself because you only got a small taste of me and what I am capable of.
Sincerely,
Aardvark
Dear Stephanie,
Do not abandon me in the store leaving me to talk to the stalker you introduced me to. It is not nice. Next time you should fake a stroke and let me rush you out of the store while you go limp on one side. That is what a real friend would do.
Thank you,
Aardvark
Topics: yours truly | 7 Comments »
July 31st, 2007 at 8:52 pm
OH, this made me laugh.
July 31st, 2007 at 9:38 pm
LOL. This isn’t the first time I’ve done that to you, either! I had to go listen to the rednecks! The problem with you is you’re TOO NICE. I just walk away from weirdos as they’re speaking to me. I let her photograph my son. Surely that is enough.
August 1st, 2007 at 8:38 am
I did walk away…she followed me!
August 1st, 2007 at 12:50 pm
You attract ‘em, Ra. It’s the huge cabinocity.
August 1st, 2007 at 7:15 pm
I love the yours truly segment! so funny!!!
I am so glad that you and scout had a great day. you know I accedentally recorded her with my camera. I didnt even realize it took video. She is eating with food all over her face. so cute
August 5th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Hey Ra
come look at this funky old Perry clip I put up. Its a scream
August 9th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
I’ve often wanted to try the Elaine trick from Seinfeld when she pretends to be deaf. That would have worked charmingly with Stephanie there.
These are a riot.