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Yours truly, Aardvark : Volume 5
By Aardvark | December 19, 2007
Dear Spear’s Family,
Please quit reproducing. So far you don’t have a great track record with parenting and sanity.
Yours truly,
Aardvark
Dear Maroon Sedan Driver,
Christmas is a wonderful time of year and I am so glad to see you appreciating it’s majesty! It might, however, be wise not to slam on your breaks EVERY time you pass a house with lights. This could be detrimental in so many ways. You could give yourself whiplash (or your lovely wife…she did appear quite frail), give others the impression that you are drunk or find my SUV up your ass. Merry Christmas!
Yours truly,
Aardvark
Dear Santa Claus,
As you know, Steve is in New York. Please make sure he gets home in time for Christmas. There are many many pieces to that kitchen you sent and I don’t plan on putting it together. If for some reason Steve is not here to assemble said kitchen…I expect you to be here at 5pm (promptly) on Christmas Eve. If you try to give me your conflict crap… I will hunt you down. Don’t mess with me Claus. Merry Christmas!
Yours truly,
Aardvark
Dear Makers of Flintstone’s Vitamins,
Wow! Aren’t you busy. I can’t believe that you have managed to come up with at least 7 different varieties of vitamins. You have outdone yourself. Complete, extra calcium, extra iron, original, for toddlers, gummy (and it’s many incarnations), etc…
I can’t imagine that 4 year olds really need that kind of choice but good for you for giving it to them.
Yours truly,
Aardvark
Dear Holiday Shoppers,
Really? Is that necessary? You know who you are.
Yours truly,
Aardvark
Topics: yours truly | 1 Comment »
December 20th, 2007 at 10:29 am
So happy to read this volume as the others! I dore your littel series.
Merry Christmas!